


Gomennasai

by RatonLaveur



Category: Free!
Genre: Celebrating the MH week with pride, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Just a little piece of love and happiness, Letters, M/M, Misunderstandings, They are solved tho, favourite song lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 16:54:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8110174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RatonLaveur/pseuds/RatonLaveur
Summary: Sometimes song lyrics can describe your feelings.Sometimes songs are better than words.Feel the music, feel the love.MakoHaru week 2016 Day 5: Favourite Song Lyrics





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> I wrote this short fic for the MH week, because I really needed to participate. I'm sorry I couldn't come up with more fics/anything better, but my life has been absolutely crazy lately and I don't have the time/energy/anything for writing. And yes, I listen to T.a.T.u. when I feel lonely at night, don't judge me, please.  
> I hope you enjoy this little thing!
> 
> Big thanks goes to my beloved beta Terinka (headoverheelswithsharkgrin.tumblr.com) for the edit!

_ Dearest Haru, _

 

_ I can't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep for a while. Basically, I don't even remember the last time I slept. The song I listen to every night never lets me fall asleep, yet I can't stop listening to it. Do you know why? Because it reminds me of you. Of what I've done to you. What I'd like to tell you. Because I'm too much of a coward to actually say it to you and I'm afraid you hate me, I decided to tell you in a letter, using lyrics of the damned song. They've been my favourite lyrics since I saw you for the last time. _

 

What I thought wasn't mine

In a light

Was one of a kind 

A precious pearl

 

_ I really like the word ‘precious' here, because you really are precious to me, Haru. I know it didn't look like that, but trust me, please… I was just shocked when you kissed me. I didn't expect that. _

 

When I wanted to cry

I couldn't ‘cause I

Wasn't allowed 

 

_ I have this weird habit of playing an emotionally strong guy in front of the others, but the truth is that I'm very, very weak. At least when it comes to you. I thought I was too old for crying, crying over losing my best friend. But you mean so much to me...I’ve spent so many nights crying and thinking about you. _

 

Gomennasai

For everything

Gomennasai

I know I let you down

Gomennasai till the end

I never needed a friend like I do now

 

_ I really didn't mean to… To run away like that. To turn my back on you. I was just too confused, shocked, overwhelmed. But I didn't mind what you had done. No, not at all. I don't know if it meant that you wanted more than a friendship. I'll gladly be everything you need, but right now I just need you as I always did. As my friend, the most important person in my life. I should have told you, I know that now. I'm not even sure if I could say ‘better late than never', because I might be really late this time… I just wanted to apologise. I probably don't make sense by now, but… I'm sorry. I need you. I need you so much. _

 

What I thought wasn't

So innocent

Was a delicate doll

Of porcelain

 

When I wanted to call you

And ask you for help

I stopped myself

 

_ That's right, I've been thinking about calling you this entire time. I needed some advice,  some help, but the only person I could think of was you… That's only a proof of how much you actually mean to me. You are a part of my life and nothing can change that… Haru. I'm finally writing to you. I can't believe I can actually get in touch with you again. This week felt like forever. Not seven days, but seven years. I'm begging for forgiveness, even though I don't think I truly deserve it. I disrespected your feelings, after all. _

 

Gomennasai

For everything

Gomennasai

I know I let you down

Gomennasai till the end

I never needed a friend like I do now 

 

_ So please… If we could just come back to what we were before… No, no, wait. That wouldn't be good. _

 

What I thought was a dream

An illusion

Was as real as it seemed

A privilege

 

_ Everything feels different, huh?  _

_ Actually, I've always seen being close to you, being friends with you as a privilege. Something good given to me by a divine power, no matter how stupid it probably sounds. I've never taken it for granted. But feeling this feeling has grown even stronger …Realizing the thing I've lost.  _

 

When I wanted to tell you

I made a mistake

I walked away…

 

Gomennasai

For everything

Gomennasai

I let you down

Gomennasai till the end

I never needed a friend like I do now

 

_ I'm actually not telling the whole truth here. I do need you as my friend, but that's not the only thing… _

_ You helped me realise that. I guess I've known it for ages before, but never have I acknowledged it. _

_ I love you, Haru. I love you so much. _

_ So, please, can you forgive me? _

 

_ Forever yours, _

 

_ Makoto _

  
  


Haruka put down the letter, tears in his eyes, hating his oversensitive reaction and loving the words in the lettter passionately at the same time. He was utterly captivated and overwhelmed by everything he had just read and so he did the only possible thing that came across his mind at that moment - he left his house, still pressing the letter against his chest, as if he could feel Makoto from the lines he had written.

Like in a dream Haruka walked the familiar path to Makoto's house, his breathing getting faster and his heart beating in his chest like crazy. Of course he was heartbroken after he had scared Makoto off - or at least it looked like that. But the thing that hurt him the most was the thought of Makoto hating him, being disgusted by him. Thanks to the letter he now knew that it wasn't this case at all.

They just needed to talk more often, about more things. They could avoid misunderstandings that way.

 

Haruka rang the bell on Makoto's house, holding his breath without even realizing he was doing so. He knew it was stupid, yet he couldn't stop feeling anxious and a little excited at once.

He was lucky - it was Makoto who opened the door, and now they were standing face to face, staring at each other.

Makoto's cheeks turned light red  and he seemed nervous.

“Haru. Hey.”

“I got your letter.”

“Ah.” Makoto blushed even more and looked down. 

“You are an idiot.”

The sandy brown haired man looked up with a confused expression on his face, staring into the serious, ocean blue eyes. “What?”

“Did you really think that I would hate you? That I would stop talking to you?” Haruka frowned a little. “I thought  _ you  _ would never talk to me again.”

Makoto bit his lip nervously and looked away again. “That would never happen.” Then he looked back at the other boy. “I guess we are both idiots.” He finally cracked a smile. 

“Right…”

The silence that followed wasn't awkward at all - it was one of  _ their  _ silences when they shared everything without words. 

“Makoto…”

“Haru…”

They spoke at the same time.

“Oh, you first,” said Makoto. Of course he did.

“I just wanted to tell you that… That I really appreciate you being with me and… The things you've done for me.” Haruka's voice kept breaking and it was hard for him to find the right words. “I… I love you, too.”

Makoto's shocked face lit up immediately with happiness and he seemed to be awestruck for a while, so Haruka decided to take the initiative again. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Makoto's neck, pressing his body against the other guy's. Their bodies fitted together perfectly and for Haruka, it was the most pleasing moment. 

Makoto wrapped his arms around Haruka's waist and hugged him as tightly as possible. Again, they didn't need to talk. 

“Do you forgive me?” Makoto asked quietly.

“There is no need. I'm not mad. I've never been,” Haruka answered just as quietly.

“I love you.” Makoto's voice sounded a little high, nervous and shaky when he said that, but that just made the confession even better in the other boy’s eyes.

“I love you, too,” Haruka simply replied before pressing their lips together.

This kiss was very different from the first one. The previous kiss was quick, confused and not enjoyable at all. Now it was warm, soft and more than pleasurable. 

It might have been a little complicated, but they’ve found the way to each other. They will always do. Some might say it's fate - and some believe it's the deep connection the two share.

Haruka was sure about one thing - this was nothing but pure love. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you were interested/didn't know: The song I used is Gomennasai by T.a.T.u.
> 
> Thanks for reading, I'll be happy if you leave a kudos/comment!
> 
> Come talk to me (or celebrate the MH week with me) on Tumblr (haruka-nanasodone-with-you) or Twitter (DaniLovesSatan)!


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